The Pleasures of Venom in an Age of Distraction
INT. APARTMENT, RICHMOND- DAY
A man lies supine on his bed, iPad on one side, coffee on another, staring out the window.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: We should see a movie!
MAN: Hmm, I’m down to see a movie. Wanted to see one this weekend, but didn’t, with all the playoff baseball.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Then let it be Venom: Let there be Carnage!
MAN: I gotta leave myself enough time to come back for the Sox game. That Bond movie is too long… I want to see the Many Saints of Newark*, but those showtimes won’t work, would get back too late.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Only one left then!
MAN: Lamb sounds interesting. Ahh who am I kidding I gotta see this Venom one.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: YES YES!
MAN: Feel like I’m not honoring the A.O. Scott thread** I’ve been thinking about lately, with regard to domination of superhero movies these days.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Who cares?!
MAN: If I don’t see Venom though I’m probably not seeing anything today and I wanna see something. “The real reading is done upstairs, with a flashlight, and a pulpy novel…” Maybe the Alan Jacobs*** applies too?
***
EXT. CRITERION BOW TIE AT MOVIELAND MOVIE THEATER
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: See? Great movie, we are genius.
MAN: Haha that was pretty funny…I think Tom Hardy’s one of my favorite actors now, it’s hard to be so compelling and understated.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: [Grunts]
MAN: Man, Woody always brings it. He has a sinister, wicked gleen that makes him perfect for a villain. And it’s good to see Michelle Williams, there’s a warmth to her and she has some ineffable quality that’s moving.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Yes she’s beautiful, you love her-
MAN: I loved that speech Venom made in the club. What a neat and goofy way to celebrate people for all their divergence and glorious weirdness. And he looked rad with all those glow sticks.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Yes yes, nice touch for your article.
MAN: Funny though how that climactic fight scene between Venom and Carnage felt anti-climactic. Those final fight scenes used to be the best, but now they feel very redundant and rote. Hero and villain go into some type of enclosure and fight, and a lot of nifty effects and colorful explosions ensue.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Fight fight! What, would you want no fight?
MAN: I don’t know what I want.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: And what did you think about Spider-man making an appearance at the end?
MAN: Kind of lame actually. I like Venom on his own and wanted to see what he’d do in another self-contained installment, without the constraints of the MCU, or the idea that these were merely bridges to something else that hasn’t happened yet.
DEEP GUTTURAL VOICE: Well what do you expect? Are you not entertained?
* See this on the big screen if you still can, don’t be like me!
** For some good modern film talk, listen to his WTF podcast interview with Marc Maron (also his book Better Living Through Criticism: How to Think About Art, Pleasure, Beauty, and Truth).
*** The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction.
